Adjusting

Confession: I know I've said this before, but I really don't adjust well.

I'm struggling. I hate moving to new places and figuring out new things. I still feel as though I don't have anywhere that I belong or anyone who wants me around and it's just hard. I don't feel home yet in the new apartment. I don't feel used to being back on campus. I'm just overall homesick and want to be anywhere but here, and mostly want to be home.

Or really to just not feel like this.

And I know that there are things I can do to get this feeling to go away, like go for a run or go to the temple or something, but I don't want to do any of that, I just want to be done with this and have it gone. I don't want to deal with this. Honestly, I'm still wound up from working so much this summer and I just want to relax, but I have no where to relax. I can't just flop onto my bed because its a bunk bed and I ended up with the top bunk, and that's really hard. It's so inconvenient to get up and down that I just don't have the energy to do it. My bed has been my place to just be for forever and I feel really lost now that I don't have that.

I just want to feel at home.

So for now, I'm listening to a ten hour thunderstorm on youtube.
Wish me luck,
-M