Emotions Are On Edge

Confession: Water For Elephants made me cry last night

Backstory: Water For Elephants (by Sarah Gruen) is one of my favorite books in the world. I love it beyond words and I read it all the time. C also loves the book (possibly as much as I do, but I doubt it), and so for Christmas last year, I got her the DVD. We never got around to watching it last year, so I had never seen it, but last night, after our celebratory we-didnt-die-the-first-week-of-school pizza, we cuddled up for a movie night, and oh my goodness. It took my breath away. Now I don't think the movie was actually that good, it was just something about the timing and the way it was done. And the final line (spoiler alert) of "i'm not running away, I'm running home" just killed me. Tears streaming down my face killed me. C and R were looking at me like "what the hell is wrong with you" and I was just sitting there crying.

Something about running home. Being home. Making you're home wherever you are, and doing what you want and what makes you happy. That's what I want. I want to be happy. I'm just still figuring out how. I'm having issues with my body again and I don't like it, but I also don't like what I look like and that needs to change. More salad and fewer bagels I guess.

Who knows. For now, all I can agree on is to never watch Water For Elephants with a guy that I like, and that papa murphys pizza solves all.

-M