Confession: I have been trying to write this post for over a week now.
But my midterms this semester all line up so that they are one right after another, and the cycle is continuous. I am the chief cook in our apartment, and trying to run a volunteer squad for a charity week with student government, all while training for a half marathon.
My life has boiled into utter chaos.
I lost control this week and spent the first half of the week completely falling apart. I couldn't handle things, I couldn't cope, and I was literally losing it. I spent hours on the phone with my mom crying and just unable to pull myself together.
But I finally did. It took dropping something off my plate (grad school) and realizing what my goals really are. I want to be a high school athletic trainer. I want to get my bachelors in athletic training with a minor in business management, and I want to work. I don't need to go on and get a higher degree right now, but I don't have to close that door forever. I could go back to school later on if I want!
It also took changing some of my habits to start putting myself and my mental health first. This means waking up early in the morning and starting my days off by studying my scriptures and going through some yoga routines to help wake myself up and get the day going. This means eating healthy. It means ditching class for taco tuesday, and spending my friday afternoon watching friends instead of going straight into homework. It means reaching out to old friends and finding people to do stuff like go to the football game with instead of just staying home with netflix. It means making to-do lists and not beating up on myself when things don't get done. It means prioritizing my happiness above other things and remembering to breath.
Things will work out! Life is chaos! But it doesn't have to be, and I can learn to thrive on the chaos.
So it's time to plug my headphones in, work on smiling more, and just relax and take each day as it comes, grateful that I have it :)
-M
